A Bit Bovvered-DoctorXReader

“Are you sure the Doctor said we’re taking an off day?” You asked. Walking alongside Donna, your flip flops echoed in the TARDIS’s hallway.

“Absolutely. Said it three or four times,” Donna replied confidently, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “He’s in the console room, waving his screwdriver around like he’s air traffic control or something.”

You laughed and tugged on the strap of your bathing suit. “Well, it’s nice getting to relax some. And swimming was a great idea, thanks for asking me.”

Oddly, a tiny smirk tugged at the corner of Donna’s mouth. “Oh, Y/N, it’s no problem at all. And let me just say, I love the bikini.”

“Thanks. It’s strange that the wardrobe didn’t have any other suits my size.”

The smirk grew. “I know, right? Weird.”

You started to turn left, but Donna grabbed your arm. “Ah, nope,” she began, dragging you right. “The TARDIS just got a new room. A… a beach room.”

“A beach room,” You repeated flatly, an eyebrow raised as the redhead pulled you along.

“You know, waves, sand, seagulls that steal your chips. Margaritas. Lobsters. Beach things.”

“Right,” You said, drawing out the word. “Donna, that sounds impossible and pretty useless.”

“Yeah, you said the same thing about the roller derby room. And how many hours did we kill in there?”

“… Point taken.”

Donna came to a stop at a wide, thick door.

You stumbled into her. “Donna, this is the library.”

“No it’s not,” she argued, waving you off.

“No, this is definitely the library,” You said, shaking your head.

“No, it’s not.”

“Donna, I would know what the library looks—“

“Doors are similar, that’s all!” As she said this, Donna yanked open the door and pushed you forward. Yelping, you hurtled into the room before you crashed into something warm and tall. With an impending sense of dread, you looked up to find the Doctor looking down at your bikini-clad body, eyes startled and hands hovering awkwardly above your hips.

“I—“ the Doctor stammered, frozen.

“There isn’t a beach room,” You managed, face blank, “is there?”

“Nope,” Donna beamed from behind you.

“And you’re not wearing a bathing suit under that beach throw, are you?”

“Again, nope.”

“And I’m technically half naked, aren’t I?”

The Doctor made an alarmed, wordless noise, but Donna ignored him, clapping her hands together. “This was really a stroke of genius. Genius. Didn’t think I was getting anywhere—do you know how bloody hard it is to shove you two in a closet? I’ve tried at least four times, but you’re like the prude police. The unresolved sexual tension was killing me.”

You looked back at Donna with wide, incredulous eyes. “I think you might be Satan.”

The Doctor’s eyes were still on you, his mouth open and searching for words. “I—um—“

Donna snorted. “There you go, he likes what he sees.”

“Donna!” You felt your cheeks go from burning to blazing inferno. The Doctor averted his eyes, now desperately staring at the ceiling.

“Right, you two, have fun, make a new species. Or two.” Donna paused, a frown flitting across her face. “God, I hope you have matching anatomy… Well, you’ll figure all that out.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she closed the door behind her with a flourish.

You and the Doctor stared at each other. Awkwardly, you stepped away from him and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Sorry,” he blurted out, and it sounded like an automatic default.

You shook your head, willing your cheeks to cool down. “No, don’t be silly. You know Donna, once she’s got something in her head…”

“Right. Yep. Crazy old Donna.”

Trying to laugh everything off, you added, “And she’s being silly. It’s only a swimsuit.”

You both stared again, eyes locked and cheeks pink. Your body felt warm and oddly sensitive, and you may have imagined it, but the Doctor’s eyes looked a shade darker than normal.

“But I’m going to go change. Since there’s no beach room.”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Probably for the best.”

You awkwardly shifted on the balls of your heels. “I’ll go then.”

“Right.”

Neither of you moved.

Snapping out of it, you managed a final, painfully awkward, “I’ll see you later!” before turning on your heel and speed-walking out of the room.

For a moment, the library was uncomfortably silent as the Doctor remained frozen.

Then he craned his head around the doorway to watch your retreating form, accidentally letting loose the softest of appreciative whistles.





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“So, Captain, where’re we popping off to today?” Donna asked the Doctor through a mouthful of breakfast muffin.

“Oh, I dunno,” he answered, glad she wasn’t still pouting from the results—or lack thereof—from her bikini experiment. “I was… sort of thinking that we might, maybe, you know, go relax somewhere.”

“Like?” she prompted, sitting up a little straighter.

“Well, somewhere… relaxing.”

Donna somehow managed to leave her seat and arrive right behind his shoulder in less than a second, as if she’d just appeared there. She frowned at him, cocking her head to the side. “You’re rambling and being suspiciously tight-lipped. Why?”

The Doctor shrugged, not meeting her eyes, “Ah, no reason. I just thought we could have, uh, a beach day. Of sorts. Kind of, no. Well, yes, a beach day. There’s a beach that’s famous, in the Ogidi galaxy—absolutely beautiful. Bright orange sky, water so blue that—“

“A beach day,” Donna repeated.

“—Well, yeah. Not good?”

“A. Beach. Day.”

He turned his head to squint at her, “Why… Why are you looking at me like that? Stop that, whatever it is.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“What?”

“I’ll go hide the one piece swimsuits that’re Y/N’s size, you stay here!” she shouted. She began to run out of the room, but stopped to shake his shoulders. “God, I love it! You big pervert!”

“Donna!”